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How do you know you’ve made the right decision?

By October 14, 2015 December 1st, 2018 6 Comments

How do you know you’ve made the right decision?  I had a whale of a decision to make a few years ago, because I only had money for 2 out of the 3 things I desperately needed:  A fridge. A washing machine. A TV.  Which 2 should I get? Which 2 would you get?

Of course, I wanted all 3, I needed all 3, but I could only afford 2 out of the 3 (if I wanted to put my daughter into daycare so I could work.)  I was a single mum at the time and I had a big decision to make.

I believe I made the right decision – albeit the craziest one. Can you guess which one I chose?

Because it wasn’t easy.  I had my head in my hands on my couch, I’d never been in this unhinged situation before. I mean, WHO does this?

Making the right decision is a big deal. Get it right and the world opens up. Get it wrong and you know you’re in for a rough ride.

But when you have to make a decision, how do you know for sure if it’s the right one?

Like should you stay or should you go?

From your relationship with him?

From that job?

From that friendship?

From that other relationship?

How do you know if you should say something – like; should you say something even though you hate confrontation?

After you make a decision do you ever ask yourself; “have I done the right thing?

“And if I say no… what if it doesn’t happen for me? Like ever?”

“Should I buy a fridge, washing machine and/or TV?”

Know what I did?
I bailed on the fridge.

It was in the height of our hot Australian summer – January to be exact and I knew this decision would impact the next year until I’d worked enough to save up for one. A fridge that is.

So I didn’t exactly shout it from the rooftops; I knew not many would understand. But I did know unequivocally that it was the right decision. Because it made my heart happy.

Irresponsible. Stupid. Mad as a hatter perhaps. But I was very, very happy with my decision.

You see, I was lonely. And a fridge quite frankly wasn’t going to cut it during those lonely evenings I knew I was going to have. I figured I would buy fruit and vegetables to last a couple of days and eat really cleanly with lots of grains.  I wasn’t doing dairy or much meat anyway for my daughter and I so it was doable.  Not easy. But it felt right inside. I felt light.

And so my washing machine arrived. And yes my best friend arrived in the shape of a TV…I’d decided!

If you’re grappling with a decision right now, it’s important you make the right one for you and your future. But how do you know if you’re making the right decision for yourself this very minute? I mean, how do you really know?

See no one knows the little things that make your heart happy, do they?  Or the little misses that will really hurt your heart. No one knows these but your heart. And YOU. x

Darling you have a certain set of little rules that live inside of you .  You know that don’t you? And they will be all sort of wrong for everyone else…but you.

You need them. You thrive on them. You must act on them.

Think about it…

  • If he doesn’t listen to you in the way you need it, require it, crave it.
  • If you just feel so fucking disillusioned at work – yet everyone else seems so content.
  • If you just feel so awkward right now, but everyone else is completely at ease, in their element…
  • And if you are not content in any way shape or form but he is, but they are, but she is?

Darling their little rule book is not a match for your little rule book.
It’s time to look at your little rule book. But how?

Well, it’s like this – in the face of “They’ll not understand,” “Everyone else is ok with it,” “They’re calling me a DIVA.”

Yes be a DIVA. Be too much for him, her, them.

Because if it’s right for you, it most probably will only be right for you.  Can you be ok with that? Really? Truly? Utterly this lifetime? Are you BRAVE enough?

Here’s how you know whether your decision is the right one or not:

Picture one scenario and breathe…does your heart lift or sink?  Do you feel lighter or heavier?  Do you feel like you’ve expanded or contracted at this thought? What happens to your body? Do this right now. Close your eyes if you want.  See your body is always talking to you – IT’S TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW.  And then picture the other scenario. Did you feel anything?  Sometimes you will and sometimes you’re so scared you can’t feel a darn thing. It’s ok, I’ve been there.

So I’ve put together 10 powerful questions to run your decision through to know you’ve made the RIGHT decision for you! Because only YOU know.

Goddess, ask yourself:

  • Is this the situation I dreamed of living in when I grew up?
  • Are they treating me so beautifully, so lovingly, so respectfully in this job/relationship/situation that I am just flourishing and it just keeps on getting better and better?
  • Does this person/job/situation add to my life’s purpose or take away? (i.e. make it harder or easier to do it?)
  • If I knew I was guaranteed success, what would my decision be?
  • Does this decision empower me or disempower me?
  • Do I feel light or heavy with this decision?
  • Does my heart feel happy or weighed down at the thought?
  • Is this feeding me what I need; Or what I think I should have?
  • Am I making this decision because I think that’s all I’m gonna get?
  • Am I at my best right now?  What would make me feel that, truly?

You’ll know if you’ve made the right decision.  What answer did you get after you ran your decision through these questions above?  I’d love to hear in the comments below! Is that a yes? Is that a no?  You don’t have to say what it’s about, but just saying the answer out loud will move you towards the future you want.  The future you deserve.

And I did get my fridge by the way!  I was expecting to go without it for the first year, but something funny happened.  I just asked for it, when I knew I couldn’t have it, I desired it anyway and then a friend popped round 3 weeks later for tea. “Where’s your fridge?” She asked somewhat alarmed. “Oh,” I said “Well, it’s like this…” And before I could finish, she interrupted me, “Come on, let’s go, just don’t tell my husband, it’s best he doesn’t know.” And two hours later I was joined by my third friend, a $700 fridge!  A gift from my beautiful friend. And one I will never forget.

You do know the right thing to do. It might feel scary. It might be the scariest thing you’ve ever done. But it will feel right inside.  You’ll feel free. You’ll feel light.  It might make your life harder in the short run, but in the long run, you’ll look back and be glad you were brave.  Glad you trusted your own little rule book that talks to no one else but you. The one that tells you what is and what is not ok for you.  Is it safe for you to decide based on this?  Yes, every single time.

Love,

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6 Comments

  • Naomi says:

    I just did this and yes it was scary! Yes it is hard to hear, or should i say listen to the internal answer, but it will be harder to keep saying yes to the situation I’m unhappy in. Thank you the message, it always arrives from you at the perfect time. x

  • Donna Gubbay says:

    Love yr bolg Marina always makes me feel great and empowered. Thank you xxx
    Oh btw your yoga wear rocks !!

  • Suzy says:

    I had a huge decision to make a few years ago and all the horrendous agonising and asking for advice didn’t help me make my decision. It just made me more confused. Then a very wise friend gave me some advice: sit with it. What I said? Just sit with it he said, and the answer will suddenly and unexpectedly come to you. And it did! After a period of pushing it out of my mind and distraction, one day it came to me as clear as ever and it was the best decision I’ve ever made! Xx ps I’d have gone for the TV too!

    • marinaj says:

      Oh really? The TV? I think you might be the only one!!

      What you say about sitting with it is so true too, thank you for adding this and I’m glad you got to your best decision! X

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