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Desire + PleasureNews

Are you Sensually Starving?

By April 22, 2015December 3rd, 20184 Comments

…The lights turn out and you’re on your own. There’s either the possibility of sensuality next to you snoring or there’s an empty space of where sensuality could be. Or used to be. Either way you’re on your own. You’re too grown up to cry about it now – but if no-one was looking you could really go there. Cry I mean.

And the end result?  You’re sensually starved – you feel…empty.  What you long for seems so distant and in a way it is – it’s been so long since you were properly desired. Wanted. Ravished. Now there’s a word.

Did you know that sensuality isn’t a luxury for you?  It’s necessary for your fulfilment and happiness…

Mmmm…so picture this…Warm oil is massaged  into your skin by a lover who loves every inch of your body, who worships the depth of your sensuality.  A lover who takes you in so deeply,  you can expand beyond yourself. To be caressed and made love to – for you to surrender to the ultimate pleasure, time and time again is how you and I operate best – OOO! So…

Do you think you’ve reached your sensual potential?

When a woman experiences real sensuality often, it spills into all area’s of her life bringing with it a heightening of her senses, enriching her voice, her laugh, her strong desires for other area’s of her life and the ease with which she makes the right decisions for herself.  Because when you’re in the habit of receiving  sensual pleasure often it makes it easier for you to recognise what will give you pleasure in other area’s of your life. You are less likely to settle. Compromise. (All dampen a woman’s sensuality and are not to be indulged in for long periods of time.)

And anything that is not pleasurable to you becomes easier for you to spot.  Your B.S detector is more attuned to fakeness parading as pleasure.  Like men who use your sensuality for their pleasure not yours.  Like people who use you. Like a business opportunity that looks good but frankly doesn’t turn you on.  You’ll be able to spot these a mile off.  And expanding your sensuality adds to your beauty, it gives a softness to your face, increases levels of endorphins, your levels of health and your happy!

You as a woman need it and if a woman does not experience sensuality often she aches; in her belly, then her heart hurts and then it dampens the very core of her.

And then she has a choice: To wake up her sensuality so she lives to her sensual potential or to shut it down with overeating, books, whatever.

So darling, whether there’s a hulking mass of possibility lying next to you – or a stark empty place…you don’t actually need anybody in your life to reach your sensual potential this lifetime.  You just have to want it.

…And to unabashedly want it? You have to get in touch with how important it is for you as a woman to honour this often over looked part of you that will give you a gratified life…if you make space for it…because sensuality isn’t a luxury, it’s your necessity to reaching your beautiful peak this lifetime!

Here are 3 gifts of sensuality you can give to yourself today.  You deserve them all actually.

  1. The power of touch. When I was a single mummy no-one touched my bare skin or held me at the end of a long day and I lived this reality for years. I craved touch. Touch is so important for you – so if you haven’t been touched in a long time or don’t like how you’ve been touched or you’re getting it so infrequently the stop – start of it means you never reach the peak you know you can…then here’s the gift of touch you can give yourself today.  Firstly ask yourself – how do I want to be touched?  By me or by another?  And then, give yourself the most glorious treatment yourself or book yourself in for a facial, a massage – you choose. Make sure the place you choose at home or outside feels loving and sensual to you. Light a candle and massage warm coconut oil into your face, breasts and belly. Take your time. Feel it. Breathe.
  2. Everyone is sensual – and if you’re yearning for more, feed that…sit and wrap yourself up in the softest blanket, play music that sings to your soul and eat something you love. Slowly. Slow down.  Feel what’s in your mouth. Feel what you hear. Feel what you see. Become very still. Feed your soul. Feed your sensuality with all of your senses.
  3. Do your day differently!  Swim naked, wrap a silk scarf around your naked body and step into some heels to dance, self pleasure in the middle of the day when no-ones’ home, leave the house without any knickers on, paint using your fingers on a canvass, desire fulfilment NOW.

Wake up!

Waking up your sensuality is like waking up your real joy.  You are a sumptuous, glorious woman and yes you’re meant to be too much for him and too much for the normal desires of everyday people. Sensuality is your joyous antidote to too much of the other stuff that doesn’t turn you on in life.

If you’re brave enough – would you tell me in the comments below if you think you’ve reached your sensual potential?  And if you feel too shy tell me instead about your last sensual encounter…was it with food? A man, a woman, a beautiful piece of music, art? Take us there…

My love to you

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  • Shari says:

    Your post struck a cord with me. I have the most wonderful husband we are really close. We have lots affection but we just don’t seem to know how to make things between us very passionate. I almost think its because he’s never allowed himself to let go, and I need someone to bring that out in me as well. so our relationship is cute, but it’s not sensual. It didn’t even start off that way. It has always been just playful- which is great but we are very infrequent in the bedroom and I think it’s because we feel like it’s a lot of work now. I don’t know what to do to turn things from cute into sensual..would be good to get out of the comfort zone somehow

    • marinaj says:

      Hi Shari,

      Thank you for being brave enough to write about what’s happening for you – this takes guts because it’s a difficult thing to admit and most women I coach on this never utter a word to their friends!

      Shari you already have a lot of love between you and your wonderful husband so this is a good basis for you to start. But who’s going to start? You or him? It sounds like you’re both waiting for each other to take the lead. Would you like to take the lead? Because if I was coaching you now that’s what I’d be guiding you to do.

      First thing to do is get all your feelings out and start accessing and healing the pain, fear and disappointment in you – so you can begin to have real FUN with this man of yours! Because trust me, he too want’s amazing sensuality, orgasms and fabulous sex with you – but he doesn’t know where to start. And so he’s looking to you and you’re looking to him!

      Would you like to know how I can help you to go from cute to sensual? If so drop me a little note at [email protected] – (And no it doesn’t have to be work because work just leads to more work.) It sounds like you’re ready to move forward on this so I’m going to encourage you to find yourself somebody who will support you to move on this – it doesn’t matter who it is, just someone you trust because you’re not on your own with this. You want this and it’s time and you both deserve it.

      And give that beautiful husband of yours a kiss tonight and tell yourself that things can change and they will if you want them to. You deserve it, M xx

  • Suzy says:

    With food. Yesterday, during a very stressful Hearing and heated exchanges, my colleagues and I escaped briefly to a wonderful local independent cafe and bought two of their gorgeous brownies. Amongst all the stress and pressure, we devoured the brownies and in peaceful silence! They were sensual! The stress was soothed away and it was a fabulous moment, shared between fabulous women! Xx

    • marinaj says:

      Hi Suzy – you just took me there! Thank you for sharing your food sensuality and what it did for you – the stress soothed away by savouring every mouth full. love it. X

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