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Hug yourself, don’t berate yourself

By June 8, 2021No Comments

If we betray ourselves in a conversation it’s just the old trauma talking. Don’t berate yourself, instead, can you hug yourself?

Know that you needed to do that then, when you were little to support yourself and protect yourself. Especially if you didn’t feel emotionally safe. Over-giving, people pleasing, making it all about them but not about you and your needs, helped you to survive in emotionally unsafe environments.

In the here and now, if you don’t feel emotionally safe – which can get triggered when meeting people for the first time or people who remind you of your past… like strong silent types who give nothing away for example…

… Notice if the old wounded you comes up for protection to ensure you’re not hurt, attacked or rejected.

I like to take my hands to my belly, breathe in and remind myself, “Body you’re safe.” I like to do this three times with my breath. (I’ve been doing this for the last 24 years ever since I learned to put my hands on my belly and breathe into them from my yoga teacher training. I just added these words in. You can add your own in. What would work for you? This is ancient and it works.)

Hug yourself, don’t berate yourself. Can you have compassion for yourself? It must have been overwhelming for you back then to still be responding in this way now.

Compassion for you will shift what just happened into more love for yourself.

How would I do this differently next time? I always ask myself this and I do a re-run in my mind, this time with my self-respect, self-compassion and boundaries in play. If I have compassion for me and for them in a conversation? Betraying myself becomes impossible. Honouring my soul now, to give abundance to my future soul later becomes my norm. Let’s normalise reciprocal interactions.

A few podcasts have come out since I last wrote to you:

Episode 32: How I Emotionally Healed my Scoliosis
As a child I stepped into being the emotional supporter in life but not supported and my spine simply followed me, culminating in Scoliosis – a curvature of the spine. Today I share how I emotionally healed my scoliosis. Today’s podcast is also a smattering of my thoughts including what brought me here. I hope you enjoy it and find it useful, and, if you can dodge some of my truly awful jokes then you really are living your best life! All my love xx Listen here.

Episode 31: How to Recognise if you’re Running a Narcissistic Template in your Business
What is the Narc Template and how do we know if we’re running it in our business? If you’ve healed from Narcissistic abuse in your personal life, is it possible that it’s leaked through in your business life, making it harder for you to receive money, love, and support? I’m seeing lightworkers unconsciously run this Narc Template in their businesses, so no matter how much you do, or how talented you are, your business isn’t gaining traction and rising. This podcast is for light leaders to rise. Listen here.

Episode 30: 10 Nervous System tips to Replenish your Mind, Body + Soul x
I know you have big plans this year – is your body ready? Can your body take the big expansion you’re planning on doing this year? Today I’m giving you 10 Nervous System Replenishments so your body catches up to who you are NOW so you CAN expand your business, ideas and prosperity without feeling like you’ll need to flop into a big star shape on the carpet!  What are the signs that your nervous system is calling out to you? Listen here.

You can also listen to these podcasts on all the usual podcast platforms here.  Hit the subscribe button if you’d like to be notified when the latest episode pops! Or Search for The Turn Yourself On Podcast on your favourite platform.

See you on Instagram  Gab  MeWe  and The Soul Matrix for the latest!


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