July 12, 2017
If I hear one more person exclaim, “just stay positive”, I will actually, scream.
A few years ago when the self-help movement began and you and I began buying self-help books, do you remember reading that it was bad to be negative because we would attract bad stuff to us if we didn’t change it to a positive thought?
Know what this does to you?
It makes you worry twice as much.
And it makes you scared of your negative side.
Question: Do you like yourself when you’re being negative? Do you withdraw from life when you’re feeling negative so that you don’t burden anyone? So that nobody would judge you and think that you weren’t giving out good positive energy? Because you’d hate to be seen as negative, right?
Did you know: it’s actually your judgment of your negative side that is actually the problem? Not your actual negative side?
You were born with that negative side of yours for a very important reason.
Your negativity is in you for a reason: You negate your truth when you’re positive all the time.
You don’t hear how you really feel, so you can’t really act on it. There are millions of “positive women” everywhere putting a positive spin on everything all the time and for the millionth time; they are stuck in the same rut again. Could this be you?
You were given your negative feelings for a reason and so the more you feel those negative feelings, the less they stick around – because they don’t need to see? You’ve heard them, and the change they’re wanting to bring you. As my teacher Debbie Ford used to say: “What you resist, persists.”
Not allowing yourself to feel how negative you actually feel will only delay your happiness. When I walk into a shop and get asked, “How are you today?” I always tell the truth, because I’m not scared of it. “I’m really crappy actually, thanks for asking! How are you?” We usually fall about laughing – begin chatting and before you know it, we’ve taken each other higher than if I’d answered, “I’m good thanks.”
So the answer? Is to make friends with each negative feeling you possess so each feeling can add to you. Instead of making your negative thought or emotion wrong – what if you made it right and actually loved it?
Your negativity will give you real life changes, real boundaries, real self-love; it will highlight where you need support and it will reveal your truth.
When you’re honest about how you’re really feeling about your boss, your partner and that situation? You can only make the right decision for yourself.
When your inner voice says, “I’m fat; she’s too old to be wearing that; I’ll never make it; I’m not good enough… what transformation is this guiding you to take?
Now, a little caveat: Staying anything for very long – including making yourself stay positive when frankly you’re not feeling it, isn’t good for any of us.
You want to find yourself sliding between feelings easily: like happy, sad, crappy and then happy again, just like you did as a kid. That’s still you, and, as long as you don’t talk yourself out of feeling negative, you’ll put it to good use and it will stop becoming that voice you have to smother, or else you won’t have a good day.
Your negativity is within you for the whole ride, it’s never going to leave you. So you may as well make friends with it.
After all, if your trying to be positive had worked by now, you wouldn’t still be feeling negative, would you? Even in this moment?
You’d never feel it again.
It’s in you for a very beautiful reason.
So no, bad things will not happen to you if you’re negative.
Nothing bad ever happened from feeling your negativity fully in one sitting. But do expect to make the right decision for yourself and the best life for yourself. Use your negativity, be proud of it, it’s showing you the way right now if you listen to it.
If you’re reading Turn Yourself On you’ll receive more support on this (turn to page 130.)