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Home · Blog · Divorce : I know you don’t like me

I know you don’t like me and it’s the BEST thing for me you see.

Because it means I’m moving on up. Outta here.  Outta that energy that you used to be attracted to. You know – the energy I used to emit that said – use me.

Don’t respect me, or my time. De-value what I do.

Yes, you only liked me when I:
  • Didn’t stand up for myself
  • Didn’t call boundaries
  • Squashed my voice
  • Shrunk to fit you
  • Said yes to you and no to me
  • Gave you everything and gave myself nothing
You only liked me when you could get your own way.

So I know you don’t like me anymore. Because I won’t play your game. I won’t pretend that you are right and I am wrong.

I won’t hear your voice, your needs, your whatever louder than mine.

I will no longer play subservient to you. Because it doesn’t suit me anymore – because it doesn’t make me happy – it only makes you happy, you rich, you more selfish as time moves on.

I will stop placing you above me. Whether you are my husband, boss, best friend, lover. Because I can shout, scream – I can plead…but I realise…you don’t hear me.

I can drag a horse to water, but I cannot make it drink. I can’t make you see, or heal around this: No matter what I do or say you haven’t moved on up.

And God knows I’ve tried to make you see and it’s made me so sad inside.

And so I’m left with a choice:

Stay with you and be liked. Or

leave you and accept that you probably won’t like me anymore.

And you not liking me anymore?  

Well it will feel lonely for a while and I’m scared of that.
Until I remember:

That every time you get annoyed with me for not agreeing with you, giving to you, being a slave to you – it’s the Goddess sign that I’m on my way UP!

Every time you get cross with me, disappointed with me, tell me I’m wrong…it’s my special sign that I’m moving on out of this crazy stupid disempowering story (that I used to love sharing with you!) And I’m on my way UP..UP..UP!!

And what am I going to find UP there away from you?

Others who value me, give me space to talk, allow me to be unapologetically me and LOVE me for it!!  Here I am safe to be me. In all my pinkness!  In all my womanliness!  I am safe to talk.  I am safe to say how I feel and I am safe to share what I want without being wronged, without being made to feel guilty.

Here it is right to be me.  Right to wear whatever I want no matter how short, because you are responsible for how YOU behave.

Not me. Not ever.

That would be wrong for me to assume responsibility for me and for you two.

Here I become empowered – I become the biggest brightest most outrageous me ever.  Here no-one over shadows me, no-one brings me down.  Because it is no longer right.

Here I am allowed to ROCK my bright pink feminine energy!  Here I am allowed to cry, feel, have BIG needs, BIG desires, want MORE for me which you used to think unreasonable but now I LOVE my unreasonableness!  Because dammit – that’s me! I am allowed to change my mind at the drop of a hat – am I too much for you?  GOOD!  It means I am on my way UP!

Darling Goddess – in light of International Women’s Day this past March 8th I thought it very fitting to write to you about something that is very important for you to feel good about.

And that is: Raising your standards for YOU!

You see amongst my usual coaching of women to raise their standards for themselves I’ve been reading about India’s growing intolerance of sexual crimes against women.

It made me cry.

And then I punched the air:  India is beginning to wake up and realise it deserves to treat women with the upmost respect.

We are the bringers of life.  You are the bringer of life and love, and you must respect yourself.

High Standards. Marina JKeep your standards HIGH for yourself!  Those that react badly to you – whether a friend, a boss, a client, your husband, boyfriend, partner – whomever…Those who react badly to you in keeping your standards high – to you calling your boundaries?  They’re just not ready to rise up with you.

Send them love but don’t compromise and drop down to them because they don’t like you anymore.  Because they accuse you of being mean, because they say in essence – who do you think you are?

Who do you think you are?

You are an incredible Goddess who deserves to lead the little girls of this world into the BEST life this lifetime!!  You are PINK POWER, gorgeousness, fabulousness all rolled into one!

I want you batting your crazy pink sparkly eyelids at the next little girl that looks up at you because you’ll know that being a girl – being a woman is so COOL when you keep high standards for yourself.  Because then everyone has to or they’ll just drop away leaving room only for those that do!

If you compromise now – who is she going to look up to? Who are the men going to look up to?   Who am I going to look up to?  

You know it NEVER feels good in your gut when you silence your voice, when you don’t follow your gut, your heart – your yearnings.

And Goddess – how on earth will the men of this planet lift their vibration towards women – their respect towards women if you’re not willing to uphold yours?

I’d love to hear what you think in the comments below!  Have you shrunk yourself to fit another? What happened?  You on your way UP yet??

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  1. March 11, 2015

    Yes Thank you. I have just done that in my work place, I resigned after lots of anxiety over doing what I didn’t want to but forced to with promises of better roles that never happened. They didn’t like thst i will no longer accept what was better for them and not me. I was feeling guilty. You have made me feel braver for standing up for myself. I can move onward and upward to new strengths in a new workplace. I appreciate this post. Xx

    • March 12, 2015

      Debbi – you’re moving on UP!! Congratulations for moving UP and for realising that them not liking your new choice of what is better for you (and not them) MEANS you know YOU are moving up! Because you will no longer accept this inequality in a work relationship. Good for you and glad this came in at the right time for you! xx

  2. March 14, 2015

    I had a similar revelation recently and have changed the way I behave towards a couple of people in my life who have disrespected me. They don’t like it or the change in me but I don’t care. The surges in my self esteem from doing it has been well worth the anxiety it causes!

    • March 16, 2015

      Oh I love that last bit – well worth the anxiety it causes! I admire your courage, thank you for inspiring me Suzy! X

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