January 21, 2015
So I’m BACK! I missed you! I took a heap of time off – 4 weeks to be exact and I switched off social media, pressed pause with my beloved clients, with my business – with everything! This is me being silly getting ready for New Years Eve – meow!!
Whether you’re married, single, divorced or just don’t know anymore (!) – yes sometimes it is just that way isn’t it? Your relationship with men are either adding to you or taking away. Take a moment and picture the 3 closest men to you – are they adding to you or taking away from you?
Whether you haven’t seen a man in ages or you’re looking at him right now, here are 15 ways in 2015 to re-energise your relationships with men:
FYI – these are really good to practice with any man you’re talking to, from the man behind the counter, to the man you think you want to date, to the man you love…
And…I’ve written quite a bit here…but I just couldn’t help myself, so you might fancy a cup of tea to go with this?
(Gawd I’m so English!)
1. Move your body…yes this might sounds completely off topic – but did you know that moving your body unlocks so much of your own clever wisdom and intuition? How many times has the answer to a problem popped into your head whilst in the shower? Whilst walking? Whilst dancing, doing yoga, at the gym? Guys pick up on how you feel about your body. Be in your power about your body to silently communicate that to him. It’s so needed in this world.
2. Appreciate him – even when he says no! What?? Well it’s like this, the more you appreciate him the more this man will want to give you…and if you appreciate him even when he says no? By Golly gosh he won’t know what to do with himself – but he will know he likes it! Give it a try…you might just unlock a very helpful man that’s been right in front of you this whole time…
3. When you think of him, think of him as your man who wants to make you happy…he just doesn’t know how. So how will he know? By trying to read your mind when you’re fuming and giving him the silent treatment? Because he’s been with you long enough – he should just know…right? Wrong…men are wired differently from us…he really appreciates hearing it from you which brings me to:
4. Ask for what you want when you’re with him…because holding it in builds resentment towards him over time and builds a big gap between you two. Think you’re already asking him? Ask him for more than you’re used to this year. Don’t leave it till you become Desperate Debbie (that just creates stress) ask him when you still have energy to give. You might just be surprised at how much this man is willing to give to you…ask him for one thing you want right now but remember…
5. It’s all in the tone of your voice and the way in which you ask him. He is more sensitive than you know with this. So adjust your tone to neutral and appreciative (if this annoys you then you need this more than you know). If you were in my coaching program we’d spend a good session roleplaying exactly what to say and how to say it, I don’t want to give a little bit of information here without being able to support you fully, but what I will share is that the words you use are very important. Don’t justify. Don’t feel bad for asking. Instead ask him in a genuine straightforward way that is simple and straight to the point. Remember – he wants to help you, he just doesn’t know how, so don’t complicate it.
6. Play with him for your pleasure only – when you speak to him – nothing is more fun than you turning a normal conversation into a super flirty, super fun moment. It will elevate the most boring moments for you, like your tax, like buying groceries into a moment fit for a Goddess. Yes that is who you are, bring it into as many moments as you can.
7. Sexually and sensually – look to him as your pleasure maker – and where does he sit on that Pleasure Maker Scale? Does your guy have his learner plates on? Or is he already a master? No compromise on this one. Guide him to become a master at giving you pleasure. When you think of sex, it’s only a burden if you’re not getting your orgasms, regularly and magnificently. So do him and you a favour for 2015 – speak up! Tell him how you want to be touched gently and lovingly. Show him. And because our bodies change over time so do our tastes, explore them and share them often with him.
8. Share your deepest desires with him. Share your biggest fears with him. Nothing separates you two more than the unsaid.
9. Play with his resistance if he isn’t giving you what you want…”That’s not like you, you’re usually so great with….” Watch his surprise…play with him like this instead of getting cross, much lighter for you both.
10. Acknowledge him. Look him in the eye and smile. Whether you’ve been together forever or you’re about to order your coffee from him – acknowledgement and a smile goes a long way…
11. Remember that if he’s upset you – how he acts towards you is either because he has fallen off his happy horse or it’s to do with your level of self love. He can only appreciate, adore and love you to the level you’ll allow him to. Yes we are that powerful. So raise your self love if you want more of it with him.
12. Celebrate yourself! Your weakness (even if he doesn’t get why you’re so fearful of the dentist) and your brilliance. Nothing energises a relationship more than the relationship you’re having with yourself. Yes you’re gorgeous. Yes you’re brilliant. Yes you’re beautiful. Yes you’re desirable to talk to and to be with. Leave your self-doubt at the bottom of the bin when you’re talking to him and celebrate yourself whilst talking to him.
He’s lucky just to be in the same room as you.
13. See your girlfriends regularly. The kind of woman who gets crusty over time is the kind who only has time for him. We’ve all been around girlfriends who have dropped their friends for the guy. Your girlfriends will light you up when you feel mechanical like no man ever could. Revel in your girlfriends and book in with them this week!
14. Are you blocking him from giving to you? Whether he is the man on the other side of a desk or your lover take a quick peek at how you act with him; do you tell him you’re fine and you can do it yourself? Receiving support from men is your antidote to overwhelm – where could you be blocking him right now?
15. Are you treating yourself like a Goddess when you’re in the same room as him? When you do, he can.
Tell me in the comments below which one of these goodies you most need this year, and why – my love to you and here’s to 2015 – whoop! (Hope you enjoyed your tea.)